things you don't say at a job interview

After a long time you had study in a university, I'm sure all of us want to get a job.
So here are a few things you don't say at a job interview.

1. I know my resume doesn't make much sense but I can assure you either does my life!

2. So what your telling me is that if I were to get one of my fingers cut off in that big machine over there, I would be able stay home and still receive my pay checks?

3. It's a good thing I got this interview, the utilities got cut off and I haven't had a shower for almost three weeks.

4. I would just ask that you don't call any of my references... or my last five employers!

5. When you call any of my three references on my resume, you will get a switchboard. Just ask for "Solitary" and get one of the guards to drop a message.

6. I realize it seems odd that I have had only one job lasting only three days in forty-one years, but honestly nothing really jumped out at me!